Friday, 28 December 2007
Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Turtles on a log
the turtles sat on the log
there was a small turtle
there was a big turtle
the turtles had shells that were green
the sand was all yellow
and the turtles did not like it
the turtles like the log
yes they do
mr nose had no hose
so he baked a pair of shoes
but where to find
an old wind chime
no to the nose
no to the hose
no to the shows
but yes to soy
no to the nose
no to the hose
no to the shows
but yes to soy
oh glorious day
spread your seed
on my nose
all day long
i am of nose and
frost
on the carbon walls of noose
there was a small turtle
there was a big turtle
the turtles had shells that were green
the sand was all yellow
and the turtles did not like it
the turtles like the log
yes they do
mr nose had no hose
so he baked a pair of shoes
but where to find
an old wind chime
no to the nose
no to the hose
no to the shows
but yes to soy
no to the nose
no to the hose
no to the shows
but yes to soy
oh glorious day
spread your seed
on my nose
all day long
i am of nose and
frost
on the carbon walls of noose
Monday, 12 November 2007
Today pucas found an empty tome, he decided he would fill it with all of his knowledge
pucas decided he would put his spells, stories and sand memoirs into it.
the tome would be called The Grand tome of Knowledge
all forms of magical energies would swallow the tome and turn it into a magical leaflet of amazment.
"Every day one can find a new bit of knowledge in the book" said pucas himself
"it shall break boundaries and push the world into a new era" said an old man.
three servants would climb to the top of a giant nose and discovere the filled tome, there they would become one and swallow three small children, respectively.
no crab had ever felt that way before, and nor did they expect it to.
pucas decided he would put his spells, stories and sand memoirs into it.
the tome would be called The Grand tome of Knowledge
all forms of magical energies would swallow the tome and turn it into a magical leaflet of amazment.
"Every day one can find a new bit of knowledge in the book" said pucas himself
"it shall break boundaries and push the world into a new era" said an old man.
three servants would climb to the top of a giant nose and discovere the filled tome, there they would become one and swallow three small children, respectively.
no crab had ever felt that way before, and nor did they expect it to.
Sunday, 11 November 2007
Crunch Time
Belaido! Come forth for the CRAB WISHES TO STROKE YOU
splendid
WHAT!?
Nothing sir, merely a quandry of the birds to the oakenhaven dusselCROFT
geeehhhhhhhhhhh *FROWNS* you make me sad, and bitter, and chilly in the legs.
You poor little seed, does one need a sprinkle?
Dont tell me youre into sexual pleasures by Urination on someone
No, of course not, how could I be.... my love is for the Crab nothing more
That is good :P
:)
splendid
WHAT!?
Nothing sir, merely a quandry of the birds to the oakenhaven dusselCROFT
geeehhhhhhhhhhh *FROWNS* you make me sad, and bitter, and chilly in the legs.
You poor little seed, does one need a sprinkle?
Dont tell me youre into sexual pleasures by Urination on someone
No, of course not, how could I be.... my love is for the Crab nothing more
That is good :P
:)
The Sound of Music
The Norwegian Forests are alive with the sound of music
With songs of Satan they have sung for a thousand years
The Forests fill my inner darkness with the sound of music
My soul wants to scream every song it hears
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the crows
that rise from the Lake Bodom to the Oaks
My heart wants to sigh like a fetus that dies
from a church after a burning
To laugh like a Christian when it trips and falls over onto a pike set up by someone cool
stones on its way to the Dao Land
To scream through the night like a cunt who is learning to pray like a Christian fag
I go to the Norwegian Forests when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be tainted once more with the sound of music
And I'll scream once more
With songs of Satan they have sung for a thousand years
The Forests fill my inner darkness with the sound of music
My soul wants to scream every song it hears
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the crows
that rise from the Lake Bodom to the Oaks
My heart wants to sigh like a fetus that dies
from a church after a burning
To laugh like a Christian when it trips and falls over onto a pike set up by someone cool
stones on its way to the Dao Land
To scream through the night like a cunt who is learning to pray like a Christian fag
I go to the Norwegian Forests when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be tainted once more with the sound of music
And I'll scream once more
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
the soon rising crab
the crab rises, over the moon and toward the cows. this pantiful clothes basket was not too wary to be uncalled for but for those who never quite understood it was a savvy soup. soup of course being it's favourite flavour for when selecting the lovable lollypop. any soup really, red, green, black, yellow, golden garnish color with black speckles. all soup is amazing to the soon rising crab.
in times a new, with tomes of golden milk, the soon rising crab was unable to seed the sand. the sand of course needed to be seeded, but this was impossible when the crab would not eat his soup. noone really knows why the crab would not taste his soup, as he had loved it vigorously before. the crab simply said "no soup for me, a crab dont eat this soup". the crab had matured into an old man. he enjoyed old big chairs of leather, and women wearing large hat arrangments, with plumes on the sides.
no crab left to be found to seed sand, as none like soup, all are old men, of various styles and sags. there was one crab though, who was older than the rest, or wiser, or not at all either. this crab's name was crab. Crab was the alpha male crab, he was the best hunter, and the best at chess. none of the other crabs even stood a chance against him. Crab was a crab from the south asodean sea, there he had lived in a large clam, as most crabs do from birth, and ate his way out from the inside.
Strangely enough this Clam was larger than the average and Crab became exceedingly large for a crab. this was of course strange and noone knew why. but now that Crab was so big he could dress up as a Plank and do the happy milk man dance.
of course this story is true, why do people always ask me about my blogs. "pucas, this storys is so amazing," they say "it has moved my heart miles, but is it really true"
why would i ever lie about something, the haggard nose, the soy feinds, the lorses, all of it true, all of them my adventures. you fools know nothing of our world if you havent danced on the lorse garden, if you havent fought, side by side, with the soy mineral machine thigns. if you havent drank the purest of soy, with the freshest of soy bagels.
without these things my life would be dull and boring, of a school day child. BUT ALAS I AM NOT, I AM THE GREAT CARPENT GREENWARD, MASTER OF THE SOY AND THE FINCHES.
in times a new, with tomes of golden milk, the soon rising crab was unable to seed the sand. the sand of course needed to be seeded, but this was impossible when the crab would not eat his soup. noone really knows why the crab would not taste his soup, as he had loved it vigorously before. the crab simply said "no soup for me, a crab dont eat this soup". the crab had matured into an old man. he enjoyed old big chairs of leather, and women wearing large hat arrangments, with plumes on the sides.
no crab left to be found to seed sand, as none like soup, all are old men, of various styles and sags. there was one crab though, who was older than the rest, or wiser, or not at all either. this crab's name was crab. Crab was the alpha male crab, he was the best hunter, and the best at chess. none of the other crabs even stood a chance against him. Crab was a crab from the south asodean sea, there he had lived in a large clam, as most crabs do from birth, and ate his way out from the inside.
Strangely enough this Clam was larger than the average and Crab became exceedingly large for a crab. this was of course strange and noone knew why. but now that Crab was so big he could dress up as a Plank and do the happy milk man dance.
of course this story is true, why do people always ask me about my blogs. "pucas, this storys is so amazing," they say "it has moved my heart miles, but is it really true"
why would i ever lie about something, the haggard nose, the soy feinds, the lorses, all of it true, all of them my adventures. you fools know nothing of our world if you havent danced on the lorse garden, if you havent fought, side by side, with the soy mineral machine thigns. if you havent drank the purest of soy, with the freshest of soy bagels.
without these things my life would be dull and boring, of a school day child. BUT ALAS I AM NOT, I AM THE GREAT CARPENT GREENWARD, MASTER OF THE SOY AND THE FINCHES.
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
the haggard nose
the haggard nose
oh how i do dream of thee
on a breezy summers eve
or on the night of the carnival
you came to me first
a package
of silver foil
and red glittering tinsel
i opened thee with the slightest movements
increments with calculated magnitude speed and time
fragments of a complete movement which was altogther the act of opening
revealing and embelleshing you my lovely nose
frank's puppets are not of the highest quality this year
in previous times past his puppets have served to me
powerful tools of indication
recreation, enjoyment
but during lifetimes all is consumed
the haggard nose oh how he devours
time immortal or irreversible
not both nor either the nose is ravenous
endless hunger
it pushes on even after the nose
for those unconsumed
will harness the power of the nose
and take upon themselves the strength and hunger felt once by this nose oh haggard
the crayfish do say so it is the end
of those unendable
of gods and humanity alike
a harsh and brutal winter approaches
and the dark, cold clouds of night draw near
to be lost in this madness is putrid
to be lost in this place is madness
and to be forever wanting, wanting more and more
is putrid like this place of madness
oh how i do dream of thee
on a breezy summers eve
or on the night of the carnival
you came to me first
a package
of silver foil
and red glittering tinsel
i opened thee with the slightest movements
increments with calculated magnitude speed and time
fragments of a complete movement which was altogther the act of opening
revealing and embelleshing you my lovely nose
frank's puppets are not of the highest quality this year
in previous times past his puppets have served to me
powerful tools of indication
recreation, enjoyment
but during lifetimes all is consumed
the haggard nose oh how he devours
time immortal or irreversible
not both nor either the nose is ravenous
endless hunger
it pushes on even after the nose
for those unconsumed
will harness the power of the nose
and take upon themselves the strength and hunger felt once by this nose oh haggard
the crayfish do say so it is the end
of those unendable
of gods and humanity alike
a harsh and brutal winter approaches
and the dark, cold clouds of night draw near
to be lost in this madness is putrid
to be lost in this place is madness
and to be forever wanting, wanting more and more
is putrid like this place of madness
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
~CARPET OF FLAMES~
Basil put down the stove
Fuck You
Im warning you Basil, Ill fucking chop you
Do it
What?
I SAID - DO IT
Excuse me drain
That makes no sens
I know, its an anagram for would you like to go to bed with me
Oh
Well?
Well what
Do you want to?
Do what
Go to bed with me
Hmmmm I dunno.... let me check my oak
Fine
Well it says I may in exactly 2.5 mintues aslong as I deliver all the Huckleberries to the Havery by next week
You hafnt much time
Nay, I do not
I was rather looking forward to basking in the hills
Well you can throw that fucking dream away
That was harsh, very harsh
Im sorry
I dont know If I can believe that
Why not
You have a dog in your leg
How can you tell
IT FUCKING BIT ME
*Shoots*
*Dies*
Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Fuck You
Im warning you Basil, Ill fucking chop you
Do it
What?
I SAID - DO IT
Excuse me drain
That makes no sens
I know, its an anagram for would you like to go to bed with me
Oh
Well?
Well what
Do you want to?
Do what
Go to bed with me
Hmmmm I dunno.... let me check my oak
Fine
Well it says I may in exactly 2.5 mintues aslong as I deliver all the Huckleberries to the Havery by next week
You hafnt much time
Nay, I do not
I was rather looking forward to basking in the hills
Well you can throw that fucking dream away
That was harsh, very harsh
Im sorry
I dont know If I can believe that
Why not
You have a dog in your leg
How can you tell
IT FUCKING BIT ME
*Shoots*
*Dies*
Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Sand woes, oh my sand woes
Herald of nightly
carpet of fame,
silk on the bently
oh what a shame
fallen to herbfinch
the berries do fall
like night on a sunset
up down from they crawl
finch lost in the woods
does hear of his name
three times do they call
but he plays not their game
fly finch, fly for your soy
don't let the crab
eat crab no crab hand?
yes to the crab run like a crab
run from the milkman
run from the sun
run from the children
run from the goose
soy and sand close to make
no sand woes
but sand woes arose
though the presence of soy and sand
were not without life
but oh to my sand woes
i do this disclose
woes from sand, woes to and woes about
not to you but from you i beleive
these words do beseech me
and i give them my leave
sand woes, oh my sand woes
to the end your size grows
but so does the clam
clam of larger nose
and i with no habit
claim to my queen
eat some beans my lady
sand woes oh, a woes from the sand i found
heed this only one and finch of clay
one word means a million
and a million mean nothing
but without a million words
one word cannot be found
and without that one word no meaning shows
sand woes, to me do you come
with friends in new clothes
oh woes sand of woes i see
woes woes woes
but without me you are nothing
to clam to post to sink to shop
cradel your little bubby child
let them fall
and make a big hole in their head on a loose floorboard
do you find sand woes?
the answer always goes
by the sound of noes
you find your woes for another
woes old plain woes
woes old woes of the plane i do not feel
feel your woes of planes i do not
for i am not plane i am but a nose
and so my sand brings my woes
aha again fine herald what
brings you to elsinore?
to my mothers funeral and my fathers wedding to my uncle doth say hamlet
clamlet
clamlet do he say without meaning or to fortuitous finch
"salmon"
no, he says that no, he says
i the nobel clamlet find no finch in your hidden chest of herbs
and the man says with returning glee
"yes"
sand woes why follow you my nose
i ask only for clothes, sound and a hose
but you always grasp at my lower belongings,
you claim i am your woes
so you must be mine
not that my nose did anything wrong in the first place.
carpet of fame,
silk on the bently
oh what a shame
fallen to herbfinch
the berries do fall
like night on a sunset
up down from they crawl
finch lost in the woods
does hear of his name
three times do they call
but he plays not their game
fly finch, fly for your soy
don't let the crab
eat crab no crab hand?
yes to the crab run like a crab
run from the milkman
run from the sun
run from the children
run from the goose
soy and sand close to make
no sand woes
but sand woes arose
though the presence of soy and sand
were not without life
but oh to my sand woes
i do this disclose
woes from sand, woes to and woes about
not to you but from you i beleive
these words do beseech me
and i give them my leave
sand woes, oh my sand woes
to the end your size grows
but so does the clam
clam of larger nose
and i with no habit
claim to my queen
eat some beans my lady
sand woes oh, a woes from the sand i found
heed this only one and finch of clay
one word means a million
and a million mean nothing
but without a million words
one word cannot be found
and without that one word no meaning shows
sand woes, to me do you come
with friends in new clothes
oh woes sand of woes i see
woes woes woes
but without me you are nothing
to clam to post to sink to shop
cradel your little bubby child
let them fall
and make a big hole in their head on a loose floorboard
do you find sand woes?
the answer always goes
by the sound of noes
you find your woes for another
woes old plain woes
woes old woes of the plane i do not feel
feel your woes of planes i do not
for i am not plane i am but a nose
and so my sand brings my woes
aha again fine herald what
brings you to elsinore?
to my mothers funeral and my fathers wedding to my uncle doth say hamlet
clamlet
clamlet do he say without meaning or to fortuitous finch
"salmon"
no, he says that no, he says
i the nobel clamlet find no finch in your hidden chest of herbs
and the man says with returning glee
"yes"
sand woes why follow you my nose
i ask only for clothes, sound and a hose
but you always grasp at my lower belongings,
you claim i am your woes
so you must be mine
not that my nose did anything wrong in the first place.
Monday, 15 October 2007
Death to Harugurarraway
On this night falls the one and only seed breather, he calls himself Harugurarraway. Haru for short, brought upon this world the white light that infects every corner of the planet, of the universe. Haru was sent to this world by unkown winds of happiness, a true bleeding moss cum.
The world was full of darkness, and night beasts. Haru defeated this planet, with his shining bright light, he blinded the holy creatures, and burnt them to crisps. Haru felt no remorse for the beasts, he spread lies and created humanity. Humanity, bent to self destruct from its own weak mastery of this light.
Out of these humans born was the dark demon, he held only darkness in his tarnished hands. His name was Gnuter. Gnuter followed the ways of the old beasts of night. Gnuter felt no love for the despicable race that created him, and wished only for their death. Gnuter felt that he needed to desecrate the light that he was surrounded in.
Haru sat on a podium of stone and watched over his doll house of a world, reminiscing in his own glory. Gnuter searched for Haru all his life, but he failed, miserably. Gnuter was once poisoned by a christian, and hidden in the lost cave of Hmnethclaw. Gnuter spent the last days of his life, tunneling out of the sealed Hmnethclaw, to find himself in a bountiful padge of soy. There he died happy.
The world was full of darkness, and night beasts. Haru defeated this planet, with his shining bright light, he blinded the holy creatures, and burnt them to crisps. Haru felt no remorse for the beasts, he spread lies and created humanity. Humanity, bent to self destruct from its own weak mastery of this light.
Out of these humans born was the dark demon, he held only darkness in his tarnished hands. His name was Gnuter. Gnuter followed the ways of the old beasts of night. Gnuter felt no love for the despicable race that created him, and wished only for their death. Gnuter felt that he needed to desecrate the light that he was surrounded in.
Haru sat on a podium of stone and watched over his doll house of a world, reminiscing in his own glory. Gnuter searched for Haru all his life, but he failed, miserably. Gnuter was once poisoned by a christian, and hidden in the lost cave of Hmnethclaw. Gnuter spent the last days of his life, tunneling out of the sealed Hmnethclaw, to find himself in a bountiful padge of soy. There he died happy.
Sunday, 14 October 2007
Send Graft to 112 Pickle Lane.
of course some walk with trees.
amongst the leaves.
looking to the sky you will never notice the dying child.
amongst the leaves.
looking to the sky you will never notice the dying child.
Thursday, 11 October 2007
Herb
O' gerbum go harbum
herbum go thrice
left i in a field with common house mice
three noses of the carrawoo tree
nice tripe to severed finch be
o' call the noses
o' call the noses
o' call the noses thrice
and with gernheby they clash
elderly finch
do swander with glee
forty pounds of flesh
for seven krowns three
o' sand finch, sand nose or nose not sand
call one crab to the eastern pagan
cough without mourning
clap with no pollen
seed of the elder
elder's seed does it shine
with glistening glory it do
do it that with no other crab supporting?
of course said the persecuted jew
oh but so it wanes
wanes doth it
crab o navel exclusive of clam
herbum go thrice
left i in a field with common house mice
three noses of the carrawoo tree
nice tripe to severed finch be
o' call the noses
o' call the noses
o' call the noses thrice
and with gernheby they clash
elderly finch
do swander with glee
forty pounds of flesh
for seven krowns three
o' sand finch, sand nose or nose not sand
call one crab to the eastern pagan
cough without mourning
clap with no pollen
seed of the elder
elder's seed does it shine
with glistening glory it do
do it that with no other crab supporting?
of course said the persecuted jew
oh but so it wanes
wanes doth it
crab o navel exclusive of clam
Before me stood the man. I could not see his face, the hood on his black robe concealed his face completely. He lifted his arm, revealing a long pale bony hand, and he beckoned me too him. I looked up at raven perched on my shoulder, he stood there silently watching him. Cameron obviously did not trust this man, yet i trusted him completely. The man gestured again for me to come forward, and i did walk up to him. The stench of rotting flesh washed over me, and i felt a strong longing to make love to him. His arm reached up and he touched upon my nose with the tip of his finger, gently caressing it before his arm moved down my face, down through my long beard and onto my chest, and then on to my stomach where he placed his hand flat. Suddenly he plunged his hand into my flesh. Blood dripped onto the cold snow at my feet, and i laughed as i felt his hand move through my body, touching upon each of my organs. Cameron let out a fierce cry, yet stood there and continued to watch. He took out his hand, and held it up to my mouth, letting me lick it clean. Weakness overcame me and i fell to my knees in the snow. It was so cold all of a sudden. I took Cameron in my hands, and inserted him into the gaping wound in my stomach, thinking at the time it is the right thing to do. I looked up at where the friendly stranger was, only to find he was not there anymore, only an old, frail man, wearing nothing at all, letting me look upon his warm looking, saggy genitals. He looked into my eyes, then stared up at the night sky. Before me he lifted into sky, moving upwards slowly until i could no longer see him. I laughed as i fell face forward into the bloodstained snow before me, and I continued to laugh out loud until i was too weak to use my voice. I closed my eyes, and let the cold wash over my body. As i lay there, feeling my mind disappearing, i thought to myself what a good day it had been.
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
Eager Cashew
Eager chasew was a bright young fellow, he played tennis and had two brothers.
His brothers were named Ortun and Milk
Milk was tall and Ortun was short.
Fan o beretweeth, clad in a full grown beeth
cran of nan with blended finch of my old twined greatberry
sand of my soy, clambered to the nose, i am not in a blog writing mood
so i will instead
not write one
but write labels instead
His brothers were named Ortun and Milk
Milk was tall and Ortun was short.
Fan o beretweeth, clad in a full grown beeth
cran of nan with blended finch of my old twined greatberry
sand of my soy, clambered to the nose, i am not in a blog writing mood
so i will instead
not write one
but write labels instead
Monday, 8 October 2007
Obel Qarn
obel qarn was the third old man to eat a clay burd for his second arrival. on the third day of nose gathering he sat on his clam and traveled towards the toe realm of nosepoth. a three time walk toward the garden feeth. eager finches await the steps of a humble passanger.
ober twither
warn o meek
calm the napes on turburques cheek
swelter melt scrape and scream
cast catch bite and rape
living my only dream
eaten soul darkened eyes
sand on the bow of my ship
elephant singing to his song
without these
helm upon head
gloves on hand
shoe on foot
sword slung over the shoulder
stand in the icy wind
walk the cold and dark path
leave all behind
with nothing to find
follow or lead
pursue or stand motionless
all have no name
all come without bearing
heed harbour 04 with
without the crab
without the soy
without the milk
without the nose
without the finch
without the life
ober twither
warn o meek
calm the napes on turburques cheek
swelter melt scrape and scream
cast catch bite and rape
living my only dream
eaten soul darkened eyes
sand on the bow of my ship
elephant singing to his song
without these
helm upon head
gloves on hand
shoe on foot
sword slung over the shoulder
stand in the icy wind
walk the cold and dark path
leave all behind
with nothing to find
follow or lead
pursue or stand motionless
all have no name
all come without bearing
heed harbour 04 with
without the crab
without the soy
without the milk
without the nose
without the finch
without the life
Sunday, 7 October 2007
The soy and the seven sags
There once was a soy with seven old sags
herro hurrum bellow bags
never notice contump glands
sweltered cheap china nose from hands
aha cried cramp cumpet
suckle from one others nose?
trice came the beets with no hollow
shoe crows
seven dastardly sags
doth twiddle doth they shine
sand sand sand sand crab milk nose hay brine
sheep or goat
i cannot decide
through my own devices i divide
and compute to a three
on which i balance
a man and a tree
both come to be even
seven weeks of crayon smelting and my days were numbered, how long could i keep work here, undercover without the master noticing i was gone?
seven weeks at the handle of a smelter, without notice? it was all too gay for me to beleive. The master was scrupulous and unforgiving, if he were to discover that i was away. He would surely be taking my hands... no my feet
or one foot and one hand, best not think on it. he would already be angered if i returned, all i could do now was wait to see what would happen. Just like i thought several burds of soy sprouted from the walls and created one large lorse. I sat calmly, turning my smelter, with only short glances at the lorse. I knew it was watching me, i could see its beady finch eyes staring right through my bowler hat.
"Cray crellum bogerheeth!" i screeched at the hovering lorse.
It turned sharply, resolute and precise.
"Hee heezum, mohagblargh hen doyos?" it's thunderous voice pronounced.
"Geebe geebum garbo gelk" was my own little reply.
"Ectum ey bero el seldo hanada!"
He was surely most pleased.
With his last seliloquay the giant lorse tangled its burds close in time for a tale, of crayon smelter to lorse from the base of my heart. But i could not tell my tale for seven large ogres broke into the crayon factory that day, the Lorse quickly tassled me in his burds and we made a hasty escape.
For seven years have i traveled in the burds of this giant lorse, we exchange memories, thoughts and our predictions of coming events. Sometimes we return to the destroyed remains of the crayon factory, and reminisce in the sunlight.
I am a lucky soul, for on the day the ogres attacked, my old master came to find me in the abandoned factory. He must have known somehow i was hiding there, maybe it was the note i left him, or just his sense of the grander finch.
In any case my master was forced to flee the battle, no Hated-finch can take on a group of ogres, you see my master was a finch as well, but not one of grand divinity. He was the hated finch, finch that was hated. He listened to mainstream music and at fish. No other finch liked him, no animal liked him, only ottersly otter. Sometimes on our trips to the destroyed factory, the lorse and i see ottersly crying, and paying his respects. Normally we throw cheese and cabbage at the sly old rooster, but sometimes we leave him cry. For no otter deserves such teasing on every occasion, not even ottersly.
Twas this tuesday that the giant lorse and i travelled to the moon, we stayed some weeks, and left before the sunday evening, so as to return home before the week began. The lorse swallowed the mayor of sandburg, though he is still alive, they created a grave for him. I was most uninformed and missed the ceremony, and now am on the run from the Herrowdao police. Luckily for me, no vehicle can match the speed that is a giant lorse, and in any case i am safe from harm.
herro hurrum bellow bags
never notice contump glands
sweltered cheap china nose from hands
aha cried cramp cumpet
suckle from one others nose?
trice came the beets with no hollow
shoe crows
seven dastardly sags
doth twiddle doth they shine
sand sand sand sand crab milk nose hay brine
sheep or goat
i cannot decide
through my own devices i divide
and compute to a three
on which i balance
a man and a tree
both come to be even
seven weeks of crayon smelting and my days were numbered, how long could i keep work here, undercover without the master noticing i was gone?
seven weeks at the handle of a smelter, without notice? it was all too gay for me to beleive. The master was scrupulous and unforgiving, if he were to discover that i was away. He would surely be taking my hands... no my feet
or one foot and one hand, best not think on it. he would already be angered if i returned, all i could do now was wait to see what would happen. Just like i thought several burds of soy sprouted from the walls and created one large lorse. I sat calmly, turning my smelter, with only short glances at the lorse. I knew it was watching me, i could see its beady finch eyes staring right through my bowler hat.
"Cray crellum bogerheeth!" i screeched at the hovering lorse.
It turned sharply, resolute and precise.
"Hee heezum, mohagblargh hen doyos?" it's thunderous voice pronounced.
"Geebe geebum garbo gelk" was my own little reply.
"Ectum ey bero el seldo hanada!"
He was surely most pleased.
With his last seliloquay the giant lorse tangled its burds close in time for a tale, of crayon smelter to lorse from the base of my heart. But i could not tell my tale for seven large ogres broke into the crayon factory that day, the Lorse quickly tassled me in his burds and we made a hasty escape.
For seven years have i traveled in the burds of this giant lorse, we exchange memories, thoughts and our predictions of coming events. Sometimes we return to the destroyed remains of the crayon factory, and reminisce in the sunlight.
I am a lucky soul, for on the day the ogres attacked, my old master came to find me in the abandoned factory. He must have known somehow i was hiding there, maybe it was the note i left him, or just his sense of the grander finch.
In any case my master was forced to flee the battle, no Hated-finch can take on a group of ogres, you see my master was a finch as well, but not one of grand divinity. He was the hated finch, finch that was hated. He listened to mainstream music and at fish. No other finch liked him, no animal liked him, only ottersly otter. Sometimes on our trips to the destroyed factory, the lorse and i see ottersly crying, and paying his respects. Normally we throw cheese and cabbage at the sly old rooster, but sometimes we leave him cry. For no otter deserves such teasing on every occasion, not even ottersly.
Twas this tuesday that the giant lorse and i travelled to the moon, we stayed some weeks, and left before the sunday evening, so as to return home before the week began. The lorse swallowed the mayor of sandburg, though he is still alive, they created a grave for him. I was most uninformed and missed the ceremony, and now am on the run from the Herrowdao police. Luckily for me, no vehicle can match the speed that is a giant lorse, and in any case i am safe from harm.
Thursday, 4 October 2007
I cradled a child in my arms once, he bore the mark of a true warrior on his face. A sign from the gods, surely i thought as i ran my hand over the boys supple frame. I held his soft genitals in my hand, cradling them like a cup. I ran my hands over them, inspecting every detail. He looked up at me, with his large sad eyes. I looked at my friend, a crow named Cameron, perched on my shoulder. He let out a restless cry and flapped his wings twice. No, he was no good too me i decided. I carefully placed his body on the ground, and swiftly stomped on his neck. A large cracking noise sounded through the forest and the boy stopped moving, lying there staring into nothingness. I stood there a moment, enjoying the beautiful scene before me, before pulling out my knife and kneeling next to the boy. I cut open his torso and began searching through the organs for what i wanted. Eventually i happened across the rectum, and after severing it from the rest of the intestines i placed it in a satchel around my neck. I cut off his testicles, and popped one of them into my mouth and crushed it with my teeth, squirting its delicious juices everywhere. A treat for the road i told myself as a pocketed the other one. I wiped the wet mess from my long beard with a linen cloth, and began to head down the forest trail with a sense of disappointment.
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
Bowels of the Absurd
I could feel it beneath my skin.
Wretching at my internal organs.
Writhing.
Tearing.
I cringed and keel over.
Screaming.
What could of become of this?
Was it drugs?
Alchohol?
Pregnancy?
Was it merely period pains?
Bleeding?
Eternal struggle within the reproduction system within a female humanoid.
But, no.
Nothing could explain what was happening to me.
No one could be told.
No one would be able to comprehend such an occurence.
The possibilty was absurd.
Yet.
It continues.
Within this fleshy prison of my very soul rests a presence undeserving of such a kingdom.
It cannot be treated.
Killed.
Or removed.
The state is irreversible.
Forever shall it torment me.
Forever shall it remain.
Forever shall it become apart of me.
Forever together.
Perhaps I may learn to, love it.
Adore it.
Care for it.
For how could one not love such a thing.
Something so beautiful.
One could not be unfaithful.
This secret will be my own.
No one neednt know.
It will be mine.
No one elses.
For I shall bear this.
Within me.
Freely.
But just this once.
I shall mumble the words of my inner cage.
The situation of my bowels.
The zoo of my womb.
Listen.
Listen carefully.
Listen, as I shall not utter it again.
I have crabs in my Vagina.
Wretching at my internal organs.
Writhing.
Tearing.
I cringed and keel over.
Screaming.
What could of become of this?
Was it drugs?
Alchohol?
Pregnancy?
Was it merely period pains?
Bleeding?
Eternal struggle within the reproduction system within a female humanoid.
But, no.
Nothing could explain what was happening to me.
No one could be told.
No one would be able to comprehend such an occurence.
The possibilty was absurd.
Yet.
It continues.
Within this fleshy prison of my very soul rests a presence undeserving of such a kingdom.
It cannot be treated.
Killed.
Or removed.
The state is irreversible.
Forever shall it torment me.
Forever shall it remain.
Forever shall it become apart of me.
Forever together.
Perhaps I may learn to, love it.
Adore it.
Care for it.
For how could one not love such a thing.
Something so beautiful.
One could not be unfaithful.
This secret will be my own.
No one neednt know.
It will be mine.
No one elses.
For I shall bear this.
Within me.
Freely.
But just this once.
I shall mumble the words of my inner cage.
The situation of my bowels.
The zoo of my womb.
Listen.
Listen carefully.
Listen, as I shall not utter it again.
I have crabs in my Vagina.
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Sand woes, oh my sand woes
oh grand bellows of sand shells
a swooned prince doth lighten
the name of the beast calmed
and four hens on strand
dandy clams on my nose
hellfiends rising around my hose
hose hose hose
rhyme with nose
poem is gay
now shall the tale begin, of hate and virtue
a tale of old, for children and elders
a crab on a plank or a snail in the gutter
all must hear the tale
the tale of bergen seed
bergen seed, a wonderous clam
followed up the mountain great a high goats peek
polished heaps crammed with ghost milk nose
shaven babies torso, skin falling bristly columned sheets
seed walked slowly, to his friend must he meet
oh forrow, fallow mellow shapes
organ donors, often unwilling shall spare me their horrors, for i am a hungry beast
require nourishment much says the soy on my tongue
sheep calm on the mountain, the goat peek doth calm those with feeble noise
though seed was not of the noise feeble he came not calm but frenzied for blood
a sand peek followed
then a grass
then two moons
three no two...
a dog is not enough for the heeped up cartridge thought the columns for it will they suffice
but to never the end will a man follow his dream
seed was not a man, as i have previously claimed, of clam heritage come he
and so followed this dream he fought
and without supplement he urged forward
onsluaght, bring on the onslaught
though it never came
came not it did with gushing flows
my nose is feeble
soon on this peak did arise in seed the woes of sand
sand woes
sand woes he exclaimed, oh my sand woes
to farrow not nose they come these woes
sand woes of the sand
yes his woes came
but he was fatigued by the event
odds and evens were his game, as he played he would sit at the table
stir his stew
swallow bread with labour
uncanny finches fight for their lives
and the crab was once again dead
and there joined he the cat
and the lizard as they lay dieying
in their pit of sorry
all was lost
though what they seeked had been found
a swooned prince doth lighten
the name of the beast calmed
and four hens on strand
dandy clams on my nose
hellfiends rising around my hose
hose hose hose
rhyme with nose
poem is gay
now shall the tale begin, of hate and virtue
a tale of old, for children and elders
a crab on a plank or a snail in the gutter
all must hear the tale
the tale of bergen seed
bergen seed, a wonderous clam
followed up the mountain great a high goats peek
polished heaps crammed with ghost milk nose
shaven babies torso, skin falling bristly columned sheets
seed walked slowly, to his friend must he meet
oh forrow, fallow mellow shapes
organ donors, often unwilling shall spare me their horrors, for i am a hungry beast
require nourishment much says the soy on my tongue
sheep calm on the mountain, the goat peek doth calm those with feeble noise
though seed was not of the noise feeble he came not calm but frenzied for blood
a sand peek followed
then a grass
then two moons
three no two...
a dog is not enough for the heeped up cartridge thought the columns for it will they suffice
but to never the end will a man follow his dream
seed was not a man, as i have previously claimed, of clam heritage come he
and so followed this dream he fought
and without supplement he urged forward
onsluaght, bring on the onslaught
though it never came
came not it did with gushing flows
my nose is feeble
soon on this peak did arise in seed the woes of sand
sand woes
sand woes he exclaimed, oh my sand woes
to farrow not nose they come these woes
sand woes of the sand
yes his woes came
but he was fatigued by the event
odds and evens were his game, as he played he would sit at the table
stir his stew
swallow bread with labour
uncanny finches fight for their lives
and the crab was once again dead
and there joined he the cat
and the lizard as they lay dieying
in their pit of sorry
all was lost
though what they seeked had been found
Monday, 1 October 2007
I regret i am the one to inform you, but this must be told. I remember a time, when the various budding craftsmen were brought among the crows of Yeastwood, and they were given a vest of much importance. For this vest bore the crest of a young mage, newly formed from the pit of Lark. It contained a long forgotten magic, used by the warriors of Seth many generations ago, and its powers were far from comprehension. The crows were unsatisfied with this gift, they had not suitable bodies to wield the vest, so it was given as a gift too very old man, a very great friend of mine. The trolls of Fangor where very unpleased with this decision, they knew the old man would wield it against them in battle. They snuck into his realm at midnight, and beat him and his family to death with crab nets, took the vest and left. But they did not know, they did not know i was there. I hid myself, and watched on in awe. I did not feel remorse, nor did i weep at all, for it was a good death. After gathering all his internal organs I found my way to the great Court of Lanferd and described to them what i saw. It was a great law they had broken, so they summoned an army of lizards to steal the limbs of every child, and too take back the vest. They gave it onto me to look after, and since then i have kept it in a very special place.
It was a very sexual experiance
It was a very sexual experiance
sand on the fields
i drove a nose across his toes, to ballen weeds and ghacker
i sank a ship to be my lip on salmons bantering cracker
the old man sighed to the cranberry pie and called it a bloody wanker
pigs and pans will sound the hams but not the old man feeble
to see but not a furrowed brow may column upon your keeper
sand to the east
not to the north
i felt loss of my navel
a hand of burgundy wire made scratches deep below my flesh to hardened bones and harrowed
chins...
i sank a ship to be my lip on salmons bantering cracker
the old man sighed to the cranberry pie and called it a bloody wanker
pigs and pans will sound the hams but not the old man feeble
to see but not a furrowed brow may column upon your keeper
sand to the east
not to the north
i felt loss of my navel
a hand of burgundy wire made scratches deep below my flesh to hardened bones and harrowed
chins...
Dirt 1
The Old man trotted up the hill towards his olden Mill that he had crafted many a year ago. Inside he had an all sort of nuts and grains and other farm treats. He smiled as all products of his years loin and crab working were present and budded. Jakery, his work horse told him that they simply must head into town to visit the Orphans. "YES! OF COURSE JAKERY!" the Old Man cried aloud "the children will simply enjoy these fresh nuts and seeds!" He fetched his pummeling wood and his sack of lobsters, crabs werent in hatching season so their crustacean brothers would have to suffice for this adventure.
Sunday, 30 September 2007
Colonies
the children were basking in the moonlight as they did of every huckleberry harvest
but alas, great bread watched in awe
war was coming.
but alas, great bread watched in awe
war was coming.
Sand crate
the man of the moon left his sand crate on my balcony one eve
i left it there for a day or two, but after a short time i was quite intrigued by it.
i urged towards it, though it shied away
i clambered on its tassles, ha!, i claimed and sank away
shinkle shangle on my meat, cranberry soda, horribly sweet
aha i shouted and it said again
my penny is worth more than thine golden henn
fuck, a two shoed pincher
finch on glass
not on my nose
but no with a farsch
crabs?
in my vagina he claimed
ah so now i see
not with those eyes
crabs in my vagina, they cause me some pain
glass housed finches with nowhere to fly
sand horrors jumping, from bottom to sky
i left it there for a day or two, but after a short time i was quite intrigued by it.
i urged towards it, though it shied away
i clambered on its tassles, ha!, i claimed and sank away
shinkle shangle on my meat, cranberry soda, horribly sweet
aha i shouted and it said again
my penny is worth more than thine golden henn
fuck, a two shoed pincher
finch on glass
not on my nose
but no with a farsch
crabs?
in my vagina he claimed
ah so now i see
not with those eyes
crabs in my vagina, they cause me some pain
glass housed finches with nowhere to fly
sand horrors jumping, from bottom to sky
Thursday, 27 September 2007
Horacios nostalago
Samward beetroot and his burnt for-feethster had no orange rupes and so claimed the rock of sundown their nose. A hand of bathory with fire for sand had not worried a camp master on his duty, though the settles were restless. Never low the sun of day, ate kork milk a giant finch. Korben, the lone scarab rider fell to the sand off his valiant steed and cursed at his beets. Roger, the almighty sandpit warrior fought away the herraghy blues with her old finch shoes. Pucas above all, sat on a rock and counted the waves, as in sand has a man not much more to do.
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
Halo 3
A tale of Hardship....
A tale of Loss....
A tale of somewhat....
Sand Woes....
I rode my grand-a-beeg across the dunes until I finally reached EB, the video game store I had been seeking. My goal was to reach it by midnight to partake in the launch of the final chapter in the Halo Trilogy.
I entered into the crowd, Halo fans from across the entire galaxy had assembled to witness the spectacle. There was much excitement as all the geeks began to fester on their skin and holes appeared with boils and blood seeping from all gashes and some writing tentacles lashed out within them.
There was a roar as the copies of the game were brought forward, the geeks all began a chant and banged battle drums and began taking all their clothes off and some were beginning to run against one another which created electrical sparks. The atmosphere was electric, but then out of nowhere, A GRAND SAND SCARAB BEETLE ERUPTED FROM THE SANDS! "LOOK!" cried one of the geeks "its a scarab from Halo 2!" The grand sand scarab lashed out its spined tongue and imapled him then slid him within its slimey jaws and smiled.
The Grand Sand Scarab feasted upon all of those at the Halo 3 Launch, except for me. But alas my torture and suffering was far greater, for the next millenia I was sentenced to ride the Grand Sand Scarab Beetle. Through the abyss's of time we would ride, into the fires and into the stars. Forever.
A tale of Loss....
A tale of somewhat....
Sand Woes....
I rode my grand-a-beeg across the dunes until I finally reached EB, the video game store I had been seeking. My goal was to reach it by midnight to partake in the launch of the final chapter in the Halo Trilogy.
I entered into the crowd, Halo fans from across the entire galaxy had assembled to witness the spectacle. There was much excitement as all the geeks began to fester on their skin and holes appeared with boils and blood seeping from all gashes and some writing tentacles lashed out within them.
There was a roar as the copies of the game were brought forward, the geeks all began a chant and banged battle drums and began taking all their clothes off and some were beginning to run against one another which created electrical sparks. The atmosphere was electric, but then out of nowhere, A GRAND SAND SCARAB BEETLE ERUPTED FROM THE SANDS! "LOOK!" cried one of the geeks "its a scarab from Halo 2!" The grand sand scarab lashed out its spined tongue and imapled him then slid him within its slimey jaws and smiled.
The Grand Sand Scarab feasted upon all of those at the Halo 3 Launch, except for me. But alas my torture and suffering was far greater, for the next millenia I was sentenced to ride the Grand Sand Scarab Beetle. Through the abyss's of time we would ride, into the fires and into the stars. Forever.
Sand woes, oh my sand woes
sand woes, oh my sand woes
hermond beeth of the gardened nose
sand woes of hardened toes
feet of open socks, do nigh but shows
hollow rows of belt makers foes
sand woes, oh my sand flows
sand hoes, sand woes of the nose
fur coat nose, oh my sand grows
oh sand sand, sand sand
ahoy my sand , oh sorrowful glows
harrowed old nose, fathomed mans clothes
the shop comes to close and the ladies bent nose
ahargh my hent bleedfinth
a shandy of mushrooms and shoes
sand woes, oh my sand woes
borrow from me, naught only beastial wonderings
gerkhin jerkhin, followed groves
harrowed rose, banded clothes
sanded shores on the beaches resumé
a handled finch never does but sigh to the sun
horumund money-maker
sent from the gallows
fought night till midnight
and lost his shoes
oh sand, sand woes of mine
to the mournful gleem,
a lost rope of knots.
tie them my friends
or fall to the omen
handled by the master
the finch sighs to the sun
and claims with a sigh,
oh my sand woes
woes of the sand i bid thee
my nose
and harp of well-meaning
oh my sand woes
sharp salute
sand harrows clothes
borrowed from those who give not
a sorrowful crow
oh my woes
sand oh my sand
woes oh my woes
far from the end
but not the beginning
oh my woes of sand why speeketh
thee on this night a garland of noses
and three decibled clams
winches on taps without
claim to the butterman
sink on my toes
oh my lost sand woes
lost in my mind
but slowly arose
to my mind came the woes
of sand and the nose
but call of the nose not my woes
oh but just sand woes
sand woes, oh my sand woes
hermond beeth of the gardened nose
sand woes of hardened toes
feet of open socks, do nigh but shows
hollow rows of belt makers foes
sand woes, oh my sand flows
sand hoes, sand woes of the nose
fur coat nose, oh my sand grows
oh sand sand, sand sand
ahoy my sand , oh sorrowful glows
harrowed old nose, fathomed mans clothes
the shop comes to close and the ladies bent nose
ahargh my hent bleedfinth
a shandy of mushrooms and shoes
sand woes, oh my sand woes
borrow from me, naught only beastial wonderings
gerkhin jerkhin, followed groves
harrowed rose, banded clothes
sanded shores on the beaches resumé
a handled finch never does but sigh to the sun
horumund money-maker
sent from the gallows
fought night till midnight
and lost his shoes
oh sand, sand woes of mine
to the mournful gleem,
a lost rope of knots.
tie them my friends
or fall to the omen
handled by the master
the finch sighs to the sun
and claims with a sigh,
oh my sand woes
woes of the sand i bid thee
my nose
and harp of well-meaning
oh my sand woes
sharp salute
sand harrows clothes
borrowed from those who give not
a sorrowful crow
oh my woes
sand oh my sand
woes oh my woes
far from the end
but not the beginning
oh my woes of sand why speeketh
thee on this night a garland of noses
and three decibled clams
winches on taps without
claim to the butterman
sink on my toes
oh my lost sand woes
lost in my mind
but slowly arose
to my mind came the woes
of sand and the nose
but call of the nose not my woes
oh but just sand woes
sand woes, oh my sand woes
Sunday, 23 September 2007
Green handed
Soup lorseington was a grand old bank. He held four fathoms with his Gallaheen Foosth. Of course this was not the column of gardenbeehb that fortified the shilker. Jerubeen Jerubeen, where have you been, i saw your Hose but not your Keen. Shining Hoofs of Bernard man's horse, you have no idea how to contort my lorse, though harrows be nigh and a roost cocks his crow. Four marching moon gurds watch from below. I sway with my cattle-stamp and four long green hands, i march up the broken ward to my new found finch. Cecilia claims she isnt asian but i know she is, the lying finch. i found her quandry on the fourth bellow, though she knows not my pallot she sees through the hand of meegrah, green though it is, i caught her lying red handed, even though the name be green.
Thursday, 13 September 2007
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Zelble leblebleble
A giant foozth once claimed upon me, "Zelble leblebleble" unto his knowledge i forsooth my name, seven carnigals and four wishgrancks.
Accordian player of marrowfinths dao. Ho humble my guardian, ho humble thy crown. A mantoothed bean salad with four speckled dicks. my humble nose guardian ho sheffle doth flicks.
Do sweep my garden of napes. Agar agar of carved helum shades. oh soy of the fountain i beckon doth yourn. Clams of feeble forresters sand yarned to sweet. Beckon forth the axe weilding man. O carnegey harrum seedwitch, your end is at hand. Execution for those who force against slander, with milk and heefs on geerubs.
Accordian player of marrowfinths dao. Ho humble my guardian, ho humble thy crown. A mantoothed bean salad with four speckled dicks. my humble nose guardian ho sheffle doth flicks.
Do sweep my garden of napes. Agar agar of carved helum shades. oh soy of the fountain i beckon doth yourn. Clams of feeble forresters sand yarned to sweet. Beckon forth the axe weilding man. O carnegey harrum seedwitch, your end is at hand. Execution for those who force against slander, with milk and heefs on geerubs.
Sunday, 9 September 2007
Sand woes, oh my sand woes
Bernard Hose, with my sand woes. Grabbed by the nose, torn from his clothes. Ignorance shows, it shines and glows. Men march in rows, their ignorance grows.
Alvan Amarum said to my beeth, "go helegeed, go helegeed go helegeedgeeth."
"oh twas to my second, of narvumni nighth a chance may it be,"
"go helegeed"
", that stumble upon i may, a sharpened saw of seeth,"
"go helegeed"
", a tram of good fortune, with no harrowed beeds?"
"go helegeedgeeth"
"twas fortune of course that bound fates of ours to trees"
"helegeedgeeth"
Twas on that night might i add, Alvan Amarum failed to corrupt the sand of Cedrick Bo Hamew, which to his own falling was not on the clams, but moved to the forage of Carbenby Gordon.
Alvan Amarum said to my beeth, "go helegeed, go helegeed go helegeedgeeth."
"oh twas to my second, of narvumni nighth a chance may it be,"
"go helegeed"
", that stumble upon i may, a sharpened saw of seeth,"
"go helegeed"
", a tram of good fortune, with no harrowed beeds?"
"go helegeedgeeth"
"twas fortune of course that bound fates of ours to trees"
"helegeedgeeth"
Twas on that night might i add, Alvan Amarum failed to corrupt the sand of Cedrick Bo Hamew, which to his own falling was not on the clams, but moved to the forage of Carbenby Gordon.
Star Wars: The Untold Story: Episode I
Darth Vader stood aloft a large sand beast and beckoned forth Crab Soldiers to engage the Rebels hiding under some beaver skins. Crab Soldiers had come into serve the Empire over the shitty Stormtroopers as they had crappy plastic armour and could be raped by several Ewoks.
Brak-Lork a Tusken Raider watched the spectacle of the Imperials battling the Rebels across the sand dunes, not just any mere sand dunes, HIS SAND DUNES, sacred site of the sand people where they would gather sand for festivals of dance and singing. He held high his gaffi stick and cried a howl for Tusken reinforcements, and as Old Ben Kenobi would say; theyll be back, and in greater numbers too.
Brak-Lork a Tusken Raider watched the spectacle of the Imperials battling the Rebels across the sand dunes, not just any mere sand dunes, HIS SAND DUNES, sacred site of the sand people where they would gather sand for festivals of dance and singing. He held high his gaffi stick and cried a howl for Tusken reinforcements, and as Old Ben Kenobi would say; theyll be back, and in greater numbers too.
Friday, 24 August 2007
Pucas is ~~~
| The Part of You That No One Sees |
 You are aloof, mysterious, and distant. People feel like they really don't know the true you... Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force. Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself. It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose. You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away. |
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Harrod Gazaneab and the nose marchers
the old man sitting, sitting on the floor
the news boy running, running to the door
the grand nose marching, marching to the war
the sad child walking, walking as a chore
the angered finch swearing, swearing at the whore
the dieying crow crowing, a sharp and rasping craw
the churned up guts are splattered, on the party floor, our nose is bloody the finch is muddy and the garnish reminds of gore. the soy plays on its trumpet flute, a song of fancy four, in the silent murky mist the old man is no more.
angered lorses, lost their berds,
gone to the chapel feast
lit fire to the herds
eating up the mans old tail, a sand of clammy hairs
happy go lucky salmon brook, chopping on his loaf. began to sing he did, to the old carron bead.
the bead of course replied not, as a carron bead does. and Salmon sat, to observe his quiet carron feind below. "why speaketh you not, foul window of feeth."
"carron, carron, carron bead beeth."
"now speaketh you crazed, and unfathomed words."
"doth hoisten me up, i hunger for burds."
"sand widdows of Gazaneab, you poor muddled fool."
"doth hoisten me up, i hunger for burds."
the news boy running, running to the door
the grand nose marching, marching to the war
the sad child walking, walking as a chore
the angered finch swearing, swearing at the whore
the dieying crow crowing, a sharp and rasping craw
the churned up guts are splattered, on the party floor, our nose is bloody the finch is muddy and the garnish reminds of gore. the soy plays on its trumpet flute, a song of fancy four, in the silent murky mist the old man is no more.
angered lorses, lost their berds,
gone to the chapel feast
lit fire to the herds
eating up the mans old tail, a sand of clammy hairs
happy go lucky salmon brook, chopping on his loaf. began to sing he did, to the old carron bead.
the bead of course replied not, as a carron bead does. and Salmon sat, to observe his quiet carron feind below. "why speaketh you not, foul window of feeth."
"carron, carron, carron bead beeth."
"now speaketh you crazed, and unfathomed words."
"doth hoisten me up, i hunger for burds."
"sand widdows of Gazaneab, you poor muddled fool."
"doth hoisten me up, i hunger for burds."
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Bernard Finch and his Trembling Nose
Bernard was young once, and claimed many the garden beeth. But now he is old, and has no teeth. The sand of his waters wades with time, and the clock of life has thus struck nine.
"tis gettin' late on the lonely waters" wandered him to his self "they aught to rechurn some tassles, of garrenshires qually"
"the sand is creepying "cried the unsustained nose, whose feet did seem to tremble.
"tis always assumptions, and never rebutes," Bernard claimed "your shawing is weaker than the rest of the garden!"
the nose doth tremble at this moment
"now i shall slay you foul beast!"
Bernard has thus sent his foot towards the nose and sent it to the padges of soy.
"i merely claimed the sand of north cometh east to the beards, you see not the fathoms in which i pierce!"
but bernard would not listen
"you question my authority to holster the birds, my little nose your curry was stirred!"
"stirred may it be, it taste of tree"
"and tree shall you have, at such a late time, a food from another would make you far too active"
and so they slept in the late of the night, though they did not realise their true song had in fact returned the sand to its place of rest, and they were stuck on the island again in their sleep, to wake again and the nose to tremble and bernard to anger. finches are cool
"tis gettin' late on the lonely waters" wandered him to his self "they aught to rechurn some tassles, of garrenshires qually"
"the sand is creepying "cried the unsustained nose, whose feet did seem to tremble.
"tis always assumptions, and never rebutes," Bernard claimed "your shawing is weaker than the rest of the garden!"
the nose doth tremble at this moment
"now i shall slay you foul beast!"
Bernard has thus sent his foot towards the nose and sent it to the padges of soy.
"i merely claimed the sand of north cometh east to the beards, you see not the fathoms in which i pierce!"
but bernard would not listen
"you question my authority to holster the birds, my little nose your curry was stirred!"
"stirred may it be, it taste of tree"
"and tree shall you have, at such a late time, a food from another would make you far too active"
and so they slept in the late of the night, though they did not realise their true song had in fact returned the sand to its place of rest, and they were stuck on the island again in their sleep, to wake again and the nose to tremble and bernard to anger. finches are cool
Friday, 17 August 2007
The sand warriors of Bel-Seledas [Chapter 3]
It was a cold night in Bel-Seledas, but the gate watcher sat, enflamed, but calm. The night never brought war, not since the apes took to the sky. He stood with his spear of granite in hand. He saw a glint in the distance, blinked his dark eyes once and saw it approach at terrifying speed. He rang the warning bell and prepared his spear for a battle. What was this approaching, a new weapon of the humans? Soon he saw what it was as it approached. Several Fire demons, flying towards him. He lowered his spear but did not change stance, no fire demon could take to the air like this.
The low churn of the propellor hadalmost lulled Desmond into sleep, when he heard loud cries in the pit, something out of the ordinary had happened, which was unusual. For years there had been a rigid and stale peace between the humans and the Fire demons. Desmond replaced his nightcap with the hardened cap of Tortuk, a symbol of low rank in the HAC, Human Armed Corps. He ran down to the pit to report to the senior officer, and question what had happened.
"several targets spotted, moving quickly through the air,"
"what?"
"the demons have wings, and are now taking to the sky."
"where are they now?"
"i dont know but they seem to have not noticed us, arm the cannons and prepare for battle, we must return to the Wind Master at once to report this."
Desmond moved to the cannon room and began to load and cock the cannons, as he worked he began to wonder, he had never faced battle before, and the demons were disgusting abominations to be feared. What would happen if the humans final refuge was finally defeated? What would become of his own race?
Bel saladas was groggily awakening from a deep slumber, all but the miners had been sleeping, and the town was confused, the warning bell had been rung but no fight had followed. Soon the gates opened and in flew some tired but strong Fire Demons. The duke came to greet them, to discover it was the team of architects that had set out to find new technology to destroy the enemy. The duke took them in, to his nest and spoke.
In his deep, scratching and old voice the duke spoke,
"what have you discovered in those mountains Balandrao?"
Balandrao stood silent his eyes fixed on the duke, slowly he unfolded his wings, now fully formed and capable of carrying more than 10 Fire demons.
The duke sat, quietly, stewing over the information.
"you mean to tell me the finch of Nardas has invoked you?"
"Aye"
"and how may we give this gift to the other warriors?"
Balandrao took a peice of growing soy from his own body, cracked the burnt outer shell and threw it on the table for the duke. "consume it and he returns to us."
The duke took the sprig and consumed, at first their was only slight difference, his body began to tremble, then suddenly his eyes shot wide open and he growled loudly. His wings shot open at full length. The duke stood there in silence for a few minutes and then said to the architects, "you have completed your quest, and have opened the gates of destruction for the humans,"
the duke folded his wings slowly, ", may their future crumple in the the flames of our fury."
-three weeks later-
Desmond, now captain of his own, fully armed gunship was circling the airspace above the apparent location of Bel - Seledas. His cannoneers, ready for any battle stood ready. Desmond cleaned the rims of his goggles, and fixed his Hardened Captain's Cap. "he turned to the edge of the ship and peered out, he thought to himself "things have been quiet ever since those demon sightings, im beginning to wonder whether the Master is doing the right thing, and whether Captain Gleamus was just seeing things in his tired state. Either way we have orders, questioning them will only get me into trouble." Desmond remained leaning over the bow for a few more moments, but soon straightened, in the distance was a glint of light, of flame. Desmond called to the cannoneers, "Prepare yourselves! Sight on starboard, keep your eyes open!"
The Fire demons had spotted the circling Galleon in their airspace and had decided to try out their new abilities. One demon was sent to the distance, to catch the galleon's attention, once they moved towards it for the kill, the remaining warriors would approach from below and engulf the ship, killing all inside.
Desmond took out his rifle and spyglass, and attached the two. He watched over the demon from his distant spot, it seemed to be spasming. "Get closer to the target!"
Navigator Sewell changed course and headed towards the far away demon. Desmond saw as he got closer not a spasming beast, but a laughing one, it seemed to know he was watching and pointed at him. At first Desmond was confused, but later he realised that it was pointing behind him. Desmond Turned to watch the shit become engulfed in flames, and suddenly all dissapeared, as his head was claimed by one of the Fire Demons.
Below in Bel Seledas, most of the population had their inner finch awakened, the duke stood with his dark staff, on the highest point of the fortress and watched the ship above become destroyed. The duke stood and began to laugh, then cackle.
"Look to the sky my children," he coughed hoarsley ",our first victory against the apes, their fate is sealed!" And with that the duke raised his arms to the sky and summoned a sand pyre, engulfed in flame, to signify the defeat of humanity.
The low churn of the propellor hadalmost lulled Desmond into sleep, when he heard loud cries in the pit, something out of the ordinary had happened, which was unusual. For years there had been a rigid and stale peace between the humans and the Fire demons. Desmond replaced his nightcap with the hardened cap of Tortuk, a symbol of low rank in the HAC, Human Armed Corps. He ran down to the pit to report to the senior officer, and question what had happened.
"several targets spotted, moving quickly through the air,"
"what?"
"the demons have wings, and are now taking to the sky."
"where are they now?"
"i dont know but they seem to have not noticed us, arm the cannons and prepare for battle, we must return to the Wind Master at once to report this."
Desmond moved to the cannon room and began to load and cock the cannons, as he worked he began to wonder, he had never faced battle before, and the demons were disgusting abominations to be feared. What would happen if the humans final refuge was finally defeated? What would become of his own race?
Bel saladas was groggily awakening from a deep slumber, all but the miners had been sleeping, and the town was confused, the warning bell had been rung but no fight had followed. Soon the gates opened and in flew some tired but strong Fire Demons. The duke came to greet them, to discover it was the team of architects that had set out to find new technology to destroy the enemy. The duke took them in, to his nest and spoke.
In his deep, scratching and old voice the duke spoke,
"what have you discovered in those mountains Balandrao?"
Balandrao stood silent his eyes fixed on the duke, slowly he unfolded his wings, now fully formed and capable of carrying more than 10 Fire demons.
The duke sat, quietly, stewing over the information.
"you mean to tell me the finch of Nardas has invoked you?"
"Aye"
"and how may we give this gift to the other warriors?"
Balandrao took a peice of growing soy from his own body, cracked the burnt outer shell and threw it on the table for the duke. "consume it and he returns to us."
The duke took the sprig and consumed, at first their was only slight difference, his body began to tremble, then suddenly his eyes shot wide open and he growled loudly. His wings shot open at full length. The duke stood there in silence for a few minutes and then said to the architects, "you have completed your quest, and have opened the gates of destruction for the humans,"
the duke folded his wings slowly, ", may their future crumple in the the flames of our fury."
-three weeks later-
Desmond, now captain of his own, fully armed gunship was circling the airspace above the apparent location of Bel - Seledas. His cannoneers, ready for any battle stood ready. Desmond cleaned the rims of his goggles, and fixed his Hardened Captain's Cap. "he turned to the edge of the ship and peered out, he thought to himself "things have been quiet ever since those demon sightings, im beginning to wonder whether the Master is doing the right thing, and whether Captain Gleamus was just seeing things in his tired state. Either way we have orders, questioning them will only get me into trouble." Desmond remained leaning over the bow for a few more moments, but soon straightened, in the distance was a glint of light, of flame. Desmond called to the cannoneers, "Prepare yourselves! Sight on starboard, keep your eyes open!"
The Fire demons had spotted the circling Galleon in their airspace and had decided to try out their new abilities. One demon was sent to the distance, to catch the galleon's attention, once they moved towards it for the kill, the remaining warriors would approach from below and engulf the ship, killing all inside.
Desmond took out his rifle and spyglass, and attached the two. He watched over the demon from his distant spot, it seemed to be spasming. "Get closer to the target!"
Navigator Sewell changed course and headed towards the far away demon. Desmond saw as he got closer not a spasming beast, but a laughing one, it seemed to know he was watching and pointed at him. At first Desmond was confused, but later he realised that it was pointing behind him. Desmond Turned to watch the shit become engulfed in flames, and suddenly all dissapeared, as his head was claimed by one of the Fire Demons.
Below in Bel Seledas, most of the population had their inner finch awakened, the duke stood with his dark staff, on the highest point of the fortress and watched the ship above become destroyed. The duke stood and began to laugh, then cackle.
"Look to the sky my children," he coughed hoarsley ",our first victory against the apes, their fate is sealed!" And with that the duke raised his arms to the sky and summoned a sand pyre, engulfed in flame, to signify the defeat of humanity.
The Fire Demons and the taming of the Mountains within [Chapter 2]
For a decade some degree of peace between the Humans and the Fire Demons, the next stage of the Sand Warriors. The Humans harvested rare minerals from the clouds in Air farms as the Fire Demons remained anchored to the restrictions of land, primarily their fortress of Bel-Seledas. They were studying the mountains. Although they were made of land materials, they feared the mountains, they revered them as gods. But one day a young Fire Demon named Balandrao son of Grandao decided it was time to act. He led a team of archaeologists to the mountains and began the descent upwards. For Nine Months they explored the mountain range, when they decided to turn back they were approached by an elderly asian man named
Kung-Hwei who lived in a cave. He sat them down around a large fire as they enjoyed a large broth made of salamander leaves and coats of badger aswell as an unknown secret ingredient. The old man smiled to himself and sang a song aloud to his guests;
Ah fickle thee wise men 3
rain on the cereal tender to
the cheeks of a child
for oats and berries do not sway
the land mass of old
or the childrens dismay
a goat so old
does not sleep
but watches the moonlight
his wood rearranged
like clams in a stove
bleating a cry
he dies
The travellers were utterly excited by the rhyme the old man uttered. They came to realise the secret ingredient within the broth was in fact, the plant of the ancients; Soy. With this coming realisation they became more then what they were, they had been blessed with the Finch within each one of them.
'Alas!' Balandrao exclaimed
'I have felt the finch within me all my life, now with with this knowledge hatched we can take the fight against the Wind Master and the Humans by building Wind craft of our own.'
'Yes' replied Jarktoff
As they flew back to Bel-Seledas to introduce Soy to its citizens the old man stood in his doorway with a glow in his eye, he laughed to himself with a smile and raised a glass of his own breast milk to his pursed lips and drank. Then rhymed to himself;
Be not a crab
but the lobster of old
the finches of farthington
have no reason to gloat
there feathers red and brown
and tassled with gold
have but no finger
to call their own.
Kung-Hwei who lived in a cave. He sat them down around a large fire as they enjoyed a large broth made of salamander leaves and coats of badger aswell as an unknown secret ingredient. The old man smiled to himself and sang a song aloud to his guests;
Ah fickle thee wise men 3
rain on the cereal tender to
the cheeks of a child
for oats and berries do not sway
the land mass of old
or the childrens dismay
a goat so old
does not sleep
but watches the moonlight
his wood rearranged
like clams in a stove
bleating a cry
he dies
The travellers were utterly excited by the rhyme the old man uttered. They came to realise the secret ingredient within the broth was in fact, the plant of the ancients; Soy. With this coming realisation they became more then what they were, they had been blessed with the Finch within each one of them.
'Alas!' Balandrao exclaimed
'I have felt the finch within me all my life, now with with this knowledge hatched we can take the fight against the Wind Master and the Humans by building Wind craft of our own.'
'Yes' replied Jarktoff
As they flew back to Bel-Seledas to introduce Soy to its citizens the old man stood in his doorway with a glow in his eye, he laughed to himself with a smile and raised a glass of his own breast milk to his pursed lips and drank. Then rhymed to himself;
Be not a crab
but the lobster of old
the finches of farthington
have no reason to gloat
there feathers red and brown
and tassled with gold
have but no finger
to call their own.
The sand warriors of Bel-Seledas [Chapter 1]
A thousand and 5 days before the rise of man a horde of Sand Warriors dwelled in the deserts of Arabia. These warriors were not plant mineral or animal, but a mixture of all three. They were manifestations of soy plants, finches and sand. They roamed the sands in pairs or threes hunting for unwary pigs. After years or reign over the world the sand warriors soon had a new foe, humans. The humans had risen out of the sea beginning as small lizards, and had soon become man. The sand warriors disliked the humans and found it impossible to deal with such creatures. Soon a great war began between the races and the humans were on the brink of destruction. The Sand warriors had fought valiantly, and were fewer in number than the humans, though what they lacked in numbers they made up for in skill. The sand warriors had millenia of experience in battle against boars, similar to humans, and could easily defeat the unarmed beasts with their bare tentacles. Until one day the humans began to develop weapons from the trees. They tore down the trees, close relatives to the sand warriors, and turned them into sharpened spoon like spears. The sand warriors found it difficult to attack the humans from such a distance and had to develop weapons of their own. Because of their brute strength the sand warriors hurled large bundles of leaves at the humans, taking them down from extreme distances.
The Humans became afraid of the sand warriors and took to hiding in the trees, and leave the battles to try and develop new weapons to use against the sand warriors. The sand warriors too were awaiting the return of the humans and started creating new weapons to fight against the humans. The humans began to manufacture swords from the wood, without access to the ground they could not claim much metal. They began to fashion armor from their trees, and camouflage from the leaves. The soy warriors began to train large beasts, and summon sand-monsters from their deserts. Humans, without much power to use the arcane, failed to strike bck at the sand warriors, and many times were wiped out in large groups by a single sand warrior in control of sand minions.
This was until from the sky above descended a half human-half eagle, he was not known well by the humans except that he could control wind and was more physically powerful than any man. He was named the wind master, the sand warriors however knew him well and had been for many years, mortal enemies with him. The tide of the battle began to turn and the wind master lead the humans into many victorious battles against the scattered sand warriors. The sand warriors retreated back into their fortress in the desert, called Bel-Saladas, and summoned their leader, the giant fire lizard of Napes. The fire lizard was submurged from the depths of the fortress and was informed by the sand warriors of the great battle they faced. The lizard returned to the depths to reappear with an army of fire-minions. The walls of the fortress being harrowed by the humans and their wind-god were soon to be falling, when out of the front soy-gate charged the lizard and his minions, englulfing the humans in flame. The humans fell that day, the remains of the battle a charred earth and smoking corpses. The humans had to retreat and consolidate their god, if they were to destroy these sand warriors and become rulers of the earth. The sand warriors now claiming more of their land, effortlessly from the humans, began to rise in power, merging with the fire minions, into abominations. The sand warriors now called them selves fire demons, and charred the earth with their steps. The humans had grown to fear the sight of them. But the fire demons had opened up a new weakness, water. The humans began to dwell on bodies of water, in boats and large underwater cities. The fire demons finding it hard to attack the humans, even before the fire their sand - bodies made it difficult to move through water. The demons began to use their control of nature over other plants and began to use the trees to either dry out bodies of water or to entangle their roots upon dwellings in the waters. Sinking the humans, who still required oxygen. The humans had no idea how to fight, until they created the blimp. With their wind god, the Humans now ruled the sky, and not even the fire demons could manage to reach them, the time came for another stage of evolution, so the fire demons looked to the mountains.
The Humans became afraid of the sand warriors and took to hiding in the trees, and leave the battles to try and develop new weapons to use against the sand warriors. The sand warriors too were awaiting the return of the humans and started creating new weapons to fight against the humans. The humans began to manufacture swords from the wood, without access to the ground they could not claim much metal. They began to fashion armor from their trees, and camouflage from the leaves. The soy warriors began to train large beasts, and summon sand-monsters from their deserts. Humans, without much power to use the arcane, failed to strike bck at the sand warriors, and many times were wiped out in large groups by a single sand warrior in control of sand minions.
This was until from the sky above descended a half human-half eagle, he was not known well by the humans except that he could control wind and was more physically powerful than any man. He was named the wind master, the sand warriors however knew him well and had been for many years, mortal enemies with him. The tide of the battle began to turn and the wind master lead the humans into many victorious battles against the scattered sand warriors. The sand warriors retreated back into their fortress in the desert, called Bel-Saladas, and summoned their leader, the giant fire lizard of Napes. The fire lizard was submurged from the depths of the fortress and was informed by the sand warriors of the great battle they faced. The lizard returned to the depths to reappear with an army of fire-minions. The walls of the fortress being harrowed by the humans and their wind-god were soon to be falling, when out of the front soy-gate charged the lizard and his minions, englulfing the humans in flame. The humans fell that day, the remains of the battle a charred earth and smoking corpses. The humans had to retreat and consolidate their god, if they were to destroy these sand warriors and become rulers of the earth. The sand warriors now claiming more of their land, effortlessly from the humans, began to rise in power, merging with the fire minions, into abominations. The sand warriors now called them selves fire demons, and charred the earth with their steps. The humans had grown to fear the sight of them. But the fire demons had opened up a new weakness, water. The humans began to dwell on bodies of water, in boats and large underwater cities. The fire demons finding it hard to attack the humans, even before the fire their sand - bodies made it difficult to move through water. The demons began to use their control of nature over other plants and began to use the trees to either dry out bodies of water or to entangle their roots upon dwellings in the waters. Sinking the humans, who still required oxygen. The humans had no idea how to fight, until they created the blimp. With their wind god, the Humans now ruled the sky, and not even the fire demons could manage to reach them, the time came for another stage of evolution, so the fire demons looked to the mountains.
Thursday, 9 August 2007
Its been a while but im back
ok well heres a few reasons why i havent been posting lately
firstly i fucked up my operating system once, that required reinstallation but i kept my stuff
secondly i install flyff, run, error, manual reset which was accompanied by full hdd wipe
thirdly this is the first day ive actually sat in front of the computerr too bored to do anything else
haha so heres a post
i dunno if i shud just make a story
ok ill just make one since u insist mr clam slapper
one day in Simon Hunterback's berry feild three small gnomes dug their way out of the earth. One gnome was called Ferburt. The gnomes had a small villa in the outer suburbs that they usually lived in, but then they stopped, they decided to live in the ground. In fact it seems to be Ferburt's fault that they have surfaced, it was his turn to dig and drag the cart. Now he has dug into the surface and has emerged into a large field of berries. The other gnomes seem annoyed, awoken from their slumber by fresh air and berries, they turn to Ferburt, "why are we in a feild of berries Ferburt?"
"i am not quite sure friend but what should i do?"
"hassle the quale master, he has the canned trees."
"ah yes, how could i forget"
Ferburt began digging again, and so the gnomes embarked on their tunnel adventure once again, Ferburt diggin, and the other two sitting in the cart drinking Milk. Ferburt was digging one day and found an empty cavern, with his soy torch he looked around the cavern to discover hand sized stamps hanging from the roof like bats, flying around to walls looking for grubs to eat.
Ferburt took out his shot-rifle and fired some shots at the stamps, one stamp was hit and was instantly set alight. The other stamps stopped with their behaviour and turned to this source of light that was attacking them. The stamps charged the gnomes, teeth bared. The gnomes took out their spoons and began beating at the stamps, the stamps screaming in pain, invigorated the gnomes and they began thrashing wildly at the stamps, with all their might and fury the gnomes defeated the stamps. They now inhabit their caverns, all old and wrinkley those gnomes with untold power and wisdom. Noone to this day has found them and noone ever will the end.
firstly i fucked up my operating system once, that required reinstallation but i kept my stuff
secondly i install flyff, run, error, manual reset which was accompanied by full hdd wipe
thirdly this is the first day ive actually sat in front of the computerr too bored to do anything else
haha so heres a post
i dunno if i shud just make a story
ok ill just make one since u insist mr clam slapper
one day in Simon Hunterback's berry feild three small gnomes dug their way out of the earth. One gnome was called Ferburt. The gnomes had a small villa in the outer suburbs that they usually lived in, but then they stopped, they decided to live in the ground. In fact it seems to be Ferburt's fault that they have surfaced, it was his turn to dig and drag the cart. Now he has dug into the surface and has emerged into a large field of berries. The other gnomes seem annoyed, awoken from their slumber by fresh air and berries, they turn to Ferburt, "why are we in a feild of berries Ferburt?"
"i am not quite sure friend but what should i do?"
"hassle the quale master, he has the canned trees."
"ah yes, how could i forget"
Ferburt began digging again, and so the gnomes embarked on their tunnel adventure once again, Ferburt diggin, and the other two sitting in the cart drinking Milk. Ferburt was digging one day and found an empty cavern, with his soy torch he looked around the cavern to discover hand sized stamps hanging from the roof like bats, flying around to walls looking for grubs to eat.
Ferburt took out his shot-rifle and fired some shots at the stamps, one stamp was hit and was instantly set alight. The other stamps stopped with their behaviour and turned to this source of light that was attacking them. The stamps charged the gnomes, teeth bared. The gnomes took out their spoons and began beating at the stamps, the stamps screaming in pain, invigorated the gnomes and they began thrashing wildly at the stamps, with all their might and fury the gnomes defeated the stamps. They now inhabit their caverns, all old and wrinkley those gnomes with untold power and wisdom. Noone to this day has found them and noone ever will the end.
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
herds of noses
There is a giant gland on the falling moon, it is commonly called ze nose.
an old man who was tired yet graceful inspected it from his distance of notability. after many days of quiet investigation he concluded his search, with little evidence supporting his initial theory. Though now he has gained knowledge enough to pursue other dreams, noone is really sure about him at all. And nor does any man, of admirable height, care of this old shrew and his ideas, for he is not of the gracened finchlass, as most commoners are.
Ah the gracened finchlass, a touchy subject, to be brief. It flew bearing the direction of the southern wind, to surface against the tide at 3:00 pm last tuesday. No person, of general calamity, understands the finchlass as it's true burdens are hidden by sheaths of cranberry soup. All of this burden seemingly puzzled by its untrue phalacy, contorted into the sand bag named jerkin who claimed to have seen several dancing she-males the night preceeding. An old bag made his way down the trumpet shaft in order to dance with the fastened leeks, though it found none, it danced alone for the night in curious hope of company. Stamp stamp stamp said the giant mushroom, if only i had more beets on my carved wooden steeple, my stamps would not be so misfortuned as to slip through the barricades of Farrow's Folly. Lamp lamp lamp, ramp ramp ramp, camp camp camp. Not one word spoken made any sense though he found comfort in the words anyway, insanity fuels itself and so he goes on being insane all day long, all night long forever and ever and ever. Its just like a love story, but this one came true
heeahahahhahahahaa
an old man who was tired yet graceful inspected it from his distance of notability. after many days of quiet investigation he concluded his search, with little evidence supporting his initial theory. Though now he has gained knowledge enough to pursue other dreams, noone is really sure about him at all. And nor does any man, of admirable height, care of this old shrew and his ideas, for he is not of the gracened finchlass, as most commoners are.
Ah the gracened finchlass, a touchy subject, to be brief. It flew bearing the direction of the southern wind, to surface against the tide at 3:00 pm last tuesday. No person, of general calamity, understands the finchlass as it's true burdens are hidden by sheaths of cranberry soup. All of this burden seemingly puzzled by its untrue phalacy, contorted into the sand bag named jerkin who claimed to have seen several dancing she-males the night preceeding. An old bag made his way down the trumpet shaft in order to dance with the fastened leeks, though it found none, it danced alone for the night in curious hope of company. Stamp stamp stamp said the giant mushroom, if only i had more beets on my carved wooden steeple, my stamps would not be so misfortuned as to slip through the barricades of Farrow's Folly. Lamp lamp lamp, ramp ramp ramp, camp camp camp. Not one word spoken made any sense though he found comfort in the words anyway, insanity fuels itself and so he goes on being insane all day long, all night long forever and ever and ever. Its just like a love story, but this one came true
heeahahahhahahahaa
Monday, 16 July 2007
The dog, the clam and the angry old nose
A dark room without an entrance once housed three creatures of various descent. The dog, the clam, and the nose. The dog and the clam has no feelings, but the nose was always angry. One day there was a knock at the door, though it didnt exist. And the old man inside the barrel rolled down the paveway to meet the new visitor. A turtle stamped on the walls and a frog felt like the moon as three children pranced on all fours. The noses nostrils flared as it got ready to complain to the clam and the dog, though they payed no attention. A crab made itself visible, though it really wasnt, and so the children on their hands and feet were confused. A large battle broke out between the crab vision and the children, in the future it was to be called the Clammingtons Feef, War of the Stampedes. The children fought valiantly, though without opponent of opposite faction they were forced into self destruction and cannibalism until only one half eaten child bled his was around wondering what had happened. He turned 12 degrees opposite to the coordinates of the sun to review the crab vision once again standing, mockingly snapping its claws. The child pulled out the stone in his heart which people tend to call the soul. He held it to his eyes and muttered some words before charging at the crab. The crab of course unphased by another foolish attempt of a child stood, clacking its snappers. The child though in one last effort consumed the image in rage, destroying the vision, himself and the far away crab, making its nuisance.
The result of this was a large nose, with 3 spider-like legs on each side, standing around. It was a beautiful nose, with amazing curves and orifices. The angry nose in the room sensed the arrival and stood on its hind legs, sniffing the vile air. The nose let out a mighty bellow and charged through the non existant door into the world of Milk. Into which he met the new nose. In his rage old nose powered up his fire channels and aimed slowly. The new nose, unaware and innocent was not prepared for the battle at hand, though it would soon learn. Angry nose fired away with his cannon like nostrils at the new nose. The new nose was knocked back and confused, it knew not of how or why this nose had attacked him, but soon regained its wits and hid quietly in waiting. The old nose blasted some more fire then got down low and started sniffing around to pick up the scent of the new nose.
While all of this was happening Clam and Dog had managed to also exit the room, both prepared for a fight against both new and old nose they began to charge their own arsenal. Dog was the first to fire upon old nose, with his bullet like beans firing quickly and accurately Old nose was taken off guard, and stunned briefly. This was New nose's chance to attack and so dived out from its hiding place to bite off one of old noses legs, then to quickly unfold its bat-like wings for an added boost of speed moved behinf a wall. Dog kept firing on Old nose as Clam made her way to the new noses hiding spot. Clams not known for their maneuverability would be impressed by the abilities of this one, boasting 4 tentacle like limbs Clam was able to move quickly and easily towards the hiding post of New nose, ready to unload her poisonous fumes then strike at New nose quickly with her pointed tongue, that at the tip held the character of rock. New nose once again surprised, but not as much took a blow to the upper ridge, but quickly fired back with bristles, sharp but innacurate the bristles hailed down upon clam. Clam closed her shell and withdrew her tentacles to be unaffected by the quills, but now aware of the noses abilities devised a new plan.
By now Old nose had managed to gain a foot hold, unsteady as he was, missing one leg, he still had 2 more on that side and so was not as badly maimed as he could have been. Old nose used telekenisis to throw large stones and orphan's remains at Dog. Dog, with striking speed and cunning dodged the rubble and carcasses and dived forward. Dogs always being loyal to their task, he kept his eye on the target and rushed for it, this was to be his strength and folly, as Dog would not make it to the end of the day alive.
New nose sprayed water all over Clam, and with admirable agility, froze the water, completely immobilizing Clam. New nose viewed Dog tackle and badly wound old Nose, and so New nose took his chance to strike at Dog with all his strength. New Nose powered up the light of Nosetar, more powerful than a super nova, and unloaded its complete power onto the combined target of Dog and Old Nose, completely destroying them both in an instant.
Clam, meanwhile was left in her icy chamber, unable to move, but able to watch the destruction of her best friend, and vile nemesis. She watched as New Nose now turned and stared upon her, awaiting her final release, a quick and painless death, that New Nose had given to Dog and Old Nose, she was dissapointed. New Nose stood and watched Clam for a short while, the clear ice a window into the room in which she was held. New Nose, unsure about how to deal with this decided that he would not in face destroy Clam. New Nose summoned a dark room, in which he caged Clam. Inside this he left a part of his body, which soon formed into a new nose, and a dark scrawny dog, to sit for eternity in immortal suffering.
The result of this was a large nose, with 3 spider-like legs on each side, standing around. It was a beautiful nose, with amazing curves and orifices. The angry nose in the room sensed the arrival and stood on its hind legs, sniffing the vile air. The nose let out a mighty bellow and charged through the non existant door into the world of Milk. Into which he met the new nose. In his rage old nose powered up his fire channels and aimed slowly. The new nose, unaware and innocent was not prepared for the battle at hand, though it would soon learn. Angry nose fired away with his cannon like nostrils at the new nose. The new nose was knocked back and confused, it knew not of how or why this nose had attacked him, but soon regained its wits and hid quietly in waiting. The old nose blasted some more fire then got down low and started sniffing around to pick up the scent of the new nose.
While all of this was happening Clam and Dog had managed to also exit the room, both prepared for a fight against both new and old nose they began to charge their own arsenal. Dog was the first to fire upon old nose, with his bullet like beans firing quickly and accurately Old nose was taken off guard, and stunned briefly. This was New nose's chance to attack and so dived out from its hiding place to bite off one of old noses legs, then to quickly unfold its bat-like wings for an added boost of speed moved behinf a wall. Dog kept firing on Old nose as Clam made her way to the new noses hiding spot. Clams not known for their maneuverability would be impressed by the abilities of this one, boasting 4 tentacle like limbs Clam was able to move quickly and easily towards the hiding post of New nose, ready to unload her poisonous fumes then strike at New nose quickly with her pointed tongue, that at the tip held the character of rock. New nose once again surprised, but not as much took a blow to the upper ridge, but quickly fired back with bristles, sharp but innacurate the bristles hailed down upon clam. Clam closed her shell and withdrew her tentacles to be unaffected by the quills, but now aware of the noses abilities devised a new plan.
By now Old nose had managed to gain a foot hold, unsteady as he was, missing one leg, he still had 2 more on that side and so was not as badly maimed as he could have been. Old nose used telekenisis to throw large stones and orphan's remains at Dog. Dog, with striking speed and cunning dodged the rubble and carcasses and dived forward. Dogs always being loyal to their task, he kept his eye on the target and rushed for it, this was to be his strength and folly, as Dog would not make it to the end of the day alive.
New nose sprayed water all over Clam, and with admirable agility, froze the water, completely immobilizing Clam. New nose viewed Dog tackle and badly wound old Nose, and so New nose took his chance to strike at Dog with all his strength. New Nose powered up the light of Nosetar, more powerful than a super nova, and unloaded its complete power onto the combined target of Dog and Old Nose, completely destroying them both in an instant.
Clam, meanwhile was left in her icy chamber, unable to move, but able to watch the destruction of her best friend, and vile nemesis. She watched as New Nose now turned and stared upon her, awaiting her final release, a quick and painless death, that New Nose had given to Dog and Old Nose, she was dissapointed. New Nose stood and watched Clam for a short while, the clear ice a window into the room in which she was held. New Nose, unsure about how to deal with this decided that he would not in face destroy Clam. New Nose summoned a dark room, in which he caged Clam. Inside this he left a part of his body, which soon formed into a new nose, and a dark scrawny dog, to sit for eternity in immortal suffering.
Wednesday, 11 July 2007
back to the blog
havent been posting in this shithole for a little while so i thought id pacify the 0 readers of it
roger has been gone now for 2 and a half weeks, and its been long enough
who the fuck takes their kids on a 6 week holiday... grr at her mum grr
i feel so fucking bored, and desperate... i have absolutely nothing to do
i cant actually speak to anyone... i have noone i can have physical contact with either
i have noone that cares abou me... which aint so fucking fun
if her trip is extended, im going to implode... its too long its too fucking long already
its no fun around here without her at all, like sure i got WoW but i want cecilia... not some computer game -.-"
i hate how this happens :'( those who mean a lot, or more than barely anything are always taken away
always
or i desert them
or im taken away
or they desert me
this is shit why does it always have to be me being deserted...
well fuck this im sick of being fucking deserted, if it fucking keeps up i feel like deserting everything else cause none of it will give a fuck, nothing about me matters enough to keep someone around, to keep them listening or talking or interacting
roger has been gone now for 2 and a half weeks, and its been long enough
who the fuck takes their kids on a 6 week holiday... grr at her mum grr
i feel so fucking bored, and desperate... i have absolutely nothing to do
i cant actually speak to anyone... i have noone i can have physical contact with either
i have noone that cares abou me... which aint so fucking fun
if her trip is extended, im going to implode... its too long its too fucking long already
its no fun around here without her at all, like sure i got WoW but i want cecilia... not some computer game -.-"
i hate how this happens :'( those who mean a lot, or more than barely anything are always taken away
always
or i desert them
or im taken away
or they desert me
this is shit why does it always have to be me being deserted...
well fuck this im sick of being fucking deserted, if it fucking keeps up i feel like deserting everything else cause none of it will give a fuck, nothing about me matters enough to keep someone around, to keep them listening or talking or interacting
Tuesday, 3 July 2007
Monday, 2 July 2007
Awesome Cartoon
Produced by Pucas and Korben i present to thee
THE FIRST EPISODE OF GRANDOLA ADVENTURES!!!
The following video is rated PG, it contains supernatural themes and scary voices by horny 16 year old boys, Parental Guidance is suggested.
The following video is restricted to private viewing and is not to be diplayed publically without permission for or not for profit. All rights reserved to Pucas Trade Company And The Korben Lizard Farm Certified.
No this film was not made with crayons tho it was an idea we thought of.
ENJOY
THE FIRST EPISODE OF GRANDOLA ADVENTURES!!!
The following video is rated PG, it contains supernatural themes and scary voices by horny 16 year old boys, Parental Guidance is suggested.
The following video is restricted to private viewing and is not to be diplayed publically without permission for or not for profit. All rights reserved to Pucas Trade Company And The Korben Lizard Farm Certified.
No this film was not made with crayons tho it was an idea we thought of.
ENJOY
Sunday, 1 July 2007
The tale of Nosebury Candlesmith
Tarnished petals of a once prosperous tower-burd covered the dusty and scathed battleground. Underneath the petals lay loose grey dust on a pock - marked dry soil. The wind picked up the dust but not the petals as it swept through the devestated landscape, the reason being that the leaves themselves, coming from a tower-burd were made of solid stone, but a red stone which may trick the unsuspecting wanderer in the forest. Across the landscape lay some decaying bodies of children that had been victim to the destruction. The destruction being that cause by the Grand-Battle Finch of the Northern Lorses and his minor finches in a fight for their freedom from the enslavement of Lord Seal-Fucker, that fucked seals. Within their attempt for escape the Finches created grand explosive beans and cast them at all around them in an attempt to destroy the walls that held them. Though their timing was of immaculate seduction the finches had made their Bombs far too powerful and in fact destroyed a good half of the world with themselves. Luckily though for the finches, as powerful beings they reincarnate and so were not phased by the explosions and their deaths.
The finches now circled the grand Feeb stone in an attempt to summon a Crab of Naosoth but the giant troll called lamb stamped in and started telling them about crayons and swilleys until the finches cawed and died from the smell of Lamb's breath, and breast infections. Lamb ate a whole whale that evening and said to himself "soy is good...SOY IS GOOD!" then Lamb was attacked by the wolf thing pucas and fell to the ground writhing like a new born baby, strangled by the umbilical cord. Lamb soiled himself with his troll powers and made pucas run away. Lamb walked over to his closet and pulled out a small child, raped and stabbed it then went to bed.
The end
The finches now circled the grand Feeb stone in an attempt to summon a Crab of Naosoth but the giant troll called lamb stamped in and started telling them about crayons and swilleys until the finches cawed and died from the smell of Lamb's breath, and breast infections. Lamb ate a whole whale that evening and said to himself "soy is good...SOY IS GOOD!" then Lamb was attacked by the wolf thing pucas and fell to the ground writhing like a new born baby, strangled by the umbilical cord. Lamb soiled himself with his troll powers and made pucas run away. Lamb walked over to his closet and pulled out a small child, raped and stabbed it then went to bed.
The end
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